It has been a while since I’ve written anything but a conversation at the weekend prompted me to have a go again. The main reason I haven’t is I don’t seem to have had the time. Summer holidays without a moment to myself, then ramping up the marathon training to 3 hour runs, meant that I didn’t feel like I had much ‘free time’. I don’t generally welcome the clocks going back in October, but last weekend that extra hour seemed to give me so much more day. I started thinking about how we see and use time.
In the words of Douglas Adams “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so”.
I agree, time is an interesting concept – it speeds up and slows down depending on the moment. As a parent there are long hours in the middle of the night when a child won’t sleep, but whenever a birthday comes around, you can’t quite believe another year has passed and wish the days would go more slowly. Similarly the quarterly review, scheduled for a Friday afternoon, prior to a holiday, seems to take forever; while a lunchtime meet up with old friends flashes by before you’ve even got to the juicy gossip.
In our busy lives I find myself apologising for being late, not phoning people, not seeing people and not doing things I should have done. However, I think (and my husband may feel differently about this?!) it is mainly because I try to fit too much in. I don’t say no to things and see spaces in the diary as holes to be filled, rather than an opportunity to do nothing. Trying to arrange a weekend meet up gets ridiculous when you start talking 3 months in advance and even when you have a quiet one there is always something that should be done. Working evenings doesn’t help, but I also like to run on the ‘just in time principal’. This means there is no pause for planning. I can’t think beyond tomorrow, let alone next week, or that period of festivities approaching – I’m talking about Halloween obviously.
Maybe I need to jump off the treadmill, stop and breathe. Not agree to everything and try to slow time down. I give other people an hour of time to do that, so maybe I need to find that hour each day for myself. Now where is it…?